Sliders Schmiders

 Do you eat out at restaurants on an occasional basis? What have you noticed in the last few years as far as appetizer trends go? 

Well, for one, Asian style protein bites. Whether it's breaded chicken, crispy beef or marinated shrimp, Asian fusion has taken over a lot of classically westcoast restaurants. 

I used to rant and rave about that because at one point it seemed like Cactus Club topped everything on their menu with cilantro and somehow that was acceptable as Asian influenced cooking.

I've gotten over that now. I may even opt for some of those tasty creations from time to time.

My beef now, so to speak, are those teeny-tiny 1 bite excuses for sustenance commonly known as SLIDERS.

What is the deal with those things? 

I can't stand them...but for some reason their popularity is escalating. I see them everywhere...every new and upcoming trendy restaurant has sliders on their menu. 

There's endless varieties and combinations of ingredients that you can shove inside a bite-sized bun, but isn't that all the more reason to put all that deliciousness in a larger bun? 

Hear me out: so your average, casual dining restaurant burger is anywhere between $10-$13...that price includes a full sized burger with approximately a 5-6oz portion of protein as well as fries, soup, salad, whatever. 

So...why the hell would you pay $9 for 3 microscopic "burgers" that have about 1oz of protein per bun and no side dish? 

I get it---appetizers; you want something to snack on..but it's just not worth it! Never underestimate the power of classics appies and share plates like nachos, hot wings and cheesy bread.
Just saying. 

Also, I can say from experience that sliders are one of those items that everyone in the kitchen hates to make. You're busy running around during the dinner rush and all of a sudden you have to put everything on hold an dedicate the next 5 minutes of your time to carefully assembling these labor-intensive mini burgers from hell.  

Not fun. There's no love for those wretched wannabe burger spawn!

Seriously, consider value for your dollar next time you go out. Don't waste it on mediocre crap.

Sinfully Yours,

The Gruesome Gourmet

No Lambiguity here...

It's 9:20am.

I don't normally do mornings. Right now is my equivalent to the rest of the world's 5am. I feel slightly "woozy" and am still trying to figure out if I'm actually awake, or dreaming about being awake...

So why don't I just crawl back into my nice comfy bed and snooze for a few more hours? Ah, right, I'm waiting for a phone call...

...could be now, could be an hour from now; who knows? 

COFFEE... 

 ...will save the day.

In the meantime, I need some "wake the hell up" music...ear-splitting notes; relentless verbal desecration.

Lamb of God. Formed in Richmond, Virginia in 1990, the band was originally called Burn The Priest. They released one album in 1999, but after being banned and excluded from events and venues due to the "evil nature" of their name, decided to change it to something seemingly less offensive. In 2000, Lamb of God delivered their "first" album New American Gospel.

The first metal show I ever went to was The Unholy Alliance. I was completely unfamiliar with Lamb of God at the time and was there mostly to see Slayer. I recall entering the stadium and hearing Children of Bodom onstage. I raced down the stairs and dove straight into the mosh pit...big mistake---WHACK, right in the jaw! Good times\m/

As Randy Blythe strode onto the stage and belted out the first line of Ruin (off their 2003 release, As The Palaces Burn), I was captured. 

The power. 

The intensity. 

Holy crap, what a show. 

Accompanied  by guitarists Mark Morton and Willie Adler, bassist John Campbell and drummer Chris Adler, Blythe's vocals assaulted the audience for the next 45 minutes.

I have since adopted them as one of my favourite bands of all-time.  In my opinion, Ashes Of The Wake(2004) takes the cake for their best album and I must have listened to it 20 times over within the first week of owning it! 

Sacrament (2006) and Wrath (2009) have their moments, but nothing will sway me from "Ashes"...I simply just love that album. 

As soon as I have a paycheck I'll be off to buy Resolution which was just released on January 24th...can't wait to give that a spin!

Here's Laid To Rest. Good stuff. Listen. Rock out. Enjoy.

Mmmm....LAMB! The cuter an animal is, the better it tastes. That's a fact.

On a chilly day I find hearty stews do the trick. However, sometimes stew leaves me feeling so full that all I can do is lie around and vegetate until the effects wear off. Here's a "middle ground" recipe that is sure to fill you up, but not to the point where you become a useless heap on the couch!

Lamb Tagine (Feeds 4)

**All spice measurements are approximate. Feel free to experiment a bit and play around with different amounts to tailor this recipe to your desired taste)

2lb lamb shoulder, cut in bite-sized chunks

flour, enough to coat lamb

1 onion, diced

2 cloves garlic, smashed

10 dried apricots (you can chop them, but I like to leave the whole)

1 carrot, diced

1 tomato, diced

1 tsp cayenne pepper

1 tsp cinnamon

1/2 tsp ginger

1 tsp paprika

small pinch saffron threads

1 tsp turmeric

kosher salt and pepper, to taste

1/4 c tomato paste

2 c chicken stock

1/2 bunch (or more) cilantro, roughly chopped

EXECUTION

1. Douse the lamb bits in the flour and discard excess flour.

2. Saute lamb, onion and garlic in olive oil over med heat until browned.

3. Add spices and toast for about 1 minute.

4. Stir in tomato and tomato paste as well as the stock. Season A BIT.

**The broth will reduce so don't add too much salt at this time.

5. Add carrots and apricots.

6. Reduce heat to LOW, cover and simmer for 1 to 1-1/2 hours.

7. Check meat and veggies are tender and the broth is thickened. NOW you can add more seasoning if you wish as well as the cilantro

8. I like to serve this with cous cous, but rice and pasta are good alternatives as well.

Sinfully Yours,

The Gruesome Gourmet